Good Form

Have a little sympathy for Brent. I have decided to read one of my favorite manners guides from cover to cover, and in so doing have been struck by several passages I found so brilliant that I needed to share them, and Brent was the most convenient victim. I'm not sure if there are many things that interest a man less than listening to passages from a 19th-century manners book. Maybe attending a ballet. But don't cast too much pity on Brent, as I am about to inflict the same punishment on you. Following is one of my favorite passages:

CHEERFULNESS AT THE TABLE: Children should not be prohibited from laughing and talking at the table. Joyousness promotes the circulation of the blood, enlivens and invigorates it, and sends it to all parts of the system, carrying with it animation, vigor and life. Controversy should not be permitted at the table.... Every topic introduced should be calculated to instruct, interest or amuse. Business matters, past disappointments and mishaps should not be alluded to, nor should bad news be spoken of at the table, nor for half an hour before. All conversation should be of joyous and gladsome character, such as will bring out pleasant remarks and agreeable associations. Reproof should never be administered at the table, either to a child or to a servant; no fault found with anything, and no unkind word should be spoken.... Thus will the family table be the center of pleasant memories in future years, when the family shall have been scattered far and near, and some, perhaps, have been laid in their final resting place. -John H Young, A.M. A Guide to the Manners, Etiquette, and Deportment of the Most Refined Society. The Lyon's Press, 1879.